24 Jack Bauer Fakts..

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Kristoff
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24 Jack Bauer Fakts..

Post by Kristoff »

24 Jack Bauer facts

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* You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

* If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

* If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

* Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

* Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

* Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

* Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

* 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

* Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days. Wait, that is a real fact.

* Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

* Jack Bauer let the dogs out.

* Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas.

* Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

* If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

* Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

* Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

* Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

* When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer f'cking hates lemonade.

* When you open a can of whoop
* ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

* Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

* The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

* Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

* Cancer is not the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. It's Jack Bauer

* People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

* It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.

* Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

* Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why theres no life on Mars.

* When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer

* Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f'*****g do it
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Fatalist
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Post by Fatalist »

these fuckin things are gay

www.chucknorrisfacts.com
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Angus
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Post by Angus »

* Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

that made me LOL.
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zole
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Post by zole »

rl laughed so much at these.
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pain
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Post by pain »

heard the chuck norris ones before, these are all new, very funny.
whether long range weapon or suicide bomber wicked mind is a weapon of mass destruction
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